It’s the oldest cliché in the book: He wants sex, she’s not in the mood. Well, guess what? That cliché happens to be very real for many couples — but it doesn’t have to be a source of discontent.

First, understand that a man’s sex drive is hormonal, powered by his testosterone levels. Men simply think about sex more often than women do, and most men derive a sense of closeness to their partner through sex. But the number-one aphrodisiac for a woman is the sense of emotional intimacy she shares with her partner. And men are most likely to provide this emotional intimacy when they’re getting the sex they crave. So it’s a conundrum: She doesn’t want to have sex unless she feels close to him, and he doesn’t give her that sense of closeness unless he’s getting sex from her.

So, if you’re starting to feel disconnected, the answer just might be: sex! Connection accomplished, for both of you.

Interestingly, a recent poll found that when asked if they’d like their partner to initiate sex less often, 82 percent of women said no! So I guess all the asking isn’t such a bad thing after all. Why not return the compliment by indulging him more often?