Being submissive in bed can be highly erotic. When you actively surrender to your partner, sex becomes sensational. You’re at the mercy of your man’s touch — and not knowing what’s next can make sex more intense and exciting.
Your arousal is heightened when you give up all the control — especially if you’ve ever fantasized about being taken charge of in bed. Set the scene: Close your eyes and imagine being ravaged by your partner, a sexy stranger, anyone — just get lost in your own delicious fantasy.
Then let your partner in on your secret. Of course, don’t tell him if you’ve been fantasizing about someone else (that’s for your own personal inspiration), but do tell him you want to be totally under his control. Believe me, he’ll be thrilled with his new authority! You can lay down some ground rules if you’d like. Will you be tied up? Should he tease you? Think about what you want out of the experience and then let him take the wheel. Even better, let him surprise you right from the get-go — you’ll both love it!
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It’s the oldest cliché in the book: He wants sex, she’s not in the mood. Well, guess what? That cliché happens to be very real for many couples — but it doesn’t have to be a source of discontent.
First, understand that a man’s sex drive is hormonal, powered by his testosterone levels. Men simply think about sex more often than women do, and most men derive a sense of closeness to their partner through sex. But the number-one aphrodisiac for a woman is the sense of emotional intimacy she shares with her partner. And men are most likely to provide this emotional intimacy when they’re getting the sex they crave. So it’s a conundrum: She doesn’t want to have sex unless she feels close to him, and he doesn’t give her that sense of closeness unless he’s getting sex from her.
So, if you’re starting to feel disconnected, the answer just might be: sex! Connection accomplished, for both of you.
Interestingly, a recent poll found that when asked if they’d like their partner to initiate sex less often, 82 percent of women said no! So I guess all the asking isn’t such a bad thing after all. Why not return the compliment by indulging him more often?
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Has it been a while? We’ve all been there — you can’t remember the last time you felt the warm touch of another, and there are no prospects in sight. But before you fill out that application to join a convent, take a deep breath and relax. Breaking the cycle when you’ve gone too long without sex is easier — and safer — than you might think.
It’s important to get back in touch with your body and the sexual energy that’s inside. When you go too long without sex, the hormones and neurotransmitters that pump through your body when you’re having sex decline. Because of this, you may simply stop feeling sexual, and you may not be sending the right “signals” to a potential partner.
Here are some suggestions for hastening the end of the drought:
Flirt. Even if it’s the last person you would ever go out with, use it as a confidence-boosting opportunity. Turn on the charm — smile and practice some skills you may be too nervous to try on a real love interest.
Masturbate. Regularly. Make sure you’re staying in the game, so to speak, by having a little fun on the sidelines. Self-stimulation offers both chemical and physical benefits — and you just might learn something new about your sexual response while you’re at it.
Buy a few erotic novels. By erotic, I mean whatever tickles your fancy. From a classic like D.H. Lawrence’s Women in Love to good old Danielle Steel, keeping sex on the brain infuses you with sensuality. Thankfully, there are scores of excellent books under the heading of female erotica.
Whatever you do, don’t lose hope! Before you know it, you’ll be back in the game and in the right frame of mind to find yourself a partner!
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Discover your inner domestic goddess this weekend! Follow this easy recipe for a romantic breakfast in bed: one part sunny morning mood, two parts preparation (buying what you’ll need the day before), and a sprinkling of sexy pajamas. Finish with a dash of blush (so you look delectable too), and you’ve got yourself a delicious morning treat your partner will love to wake up to.
Making your sweetie breakfast in bed doesn’t require a lot of time — or even cooking skills. The effort speaks far more loudly than the food. Think about what he likes — a bowl of his favorite cereal with coffee and juice is just as sweet as homemade croissants and poached eggs. He’ll be touched by the gesture and thrilled with the surprise. Get him his favorite paper so you two can spend the rest of the morning together in bed reading — or keep busy in other ways!
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It may be hard to believe, but did you know that we need stress to survive? It’s true. In small doses, even high stress can be good for the body. Stress triggers our natural fight-or-flight response, releasing energizing endorphins into the brain, sharpening our memory, and boosting our resistance to disease and infection. Hectic or stressful times are also what make the more peaceful moments so enjoyable. For instance, meeting a crazy deadline allows you that afterglow of accomplishment, while handling a difficult situation with poise reveals strengths you may not have discovered otherwise.
But while occasional stress can be invigorating, chronic stress takes its toll on your body and mind. Too much pressure and too little reprieve allow the body’s stress response to last longer than it was intended. The long-term effects can include impaired immune function, a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, and depression. And it’s no surprise that sex tends to become infrequent or nonexistent when one or both partners experience chronic stress. When you’re fighting an overloaded mind and a worn-out body just to stay on top of things each day, it’s easy to let sex fall to the bottom of the list.
Examine your day-to-day life to identify what’s causing your chronic stress. Maybe you’re responsible for caring for an elderly parent, are in an unhappy relationship, or simply worry too much about the small stuff. Then make it a priority to figure out ways to better cope with whatever’s stressing you. Your health — and your sex life — depend on it.
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Bored with your bedroom attire and looking for something a little different? This weekend, why not try leaving the lingerie in the drawer and slipping into something he’ll never expect — liquid latex!
Liquid latex is painted onto the body with a foam brush and dries into a fabulous custom latex outfit. You become a work of art and your partner transforms into a painter — the idea is to let your imagination run wild.
Paint on a latex bra, or just a slick coating all over your body. You’ll be encased in shiny, smooth latex that feels great to touch and looks even better. Catwoman, anyone?
Liquid latex is all about fantasy. It works great for creative costumes or for role-playing with your partner. It’s totally safe (unless you have a latex allergy — be sure to check first), and your skin is still allowed to breathe through the coating. Liquid latex dries within minutes and can be worn for several hours on end. And, best of all, you or your partner have to peel it off eventually!
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