You’ve just had sex with your partner. You’re feeling lost in the afterglow. But when you get up to go to the bathroom, there’s blood on the toilet paper — and you’re nowhere near your period. You’re immediately panicked, fearfully wondering what could be wrong.
Spotting after sex can occur for a variety of reasons, so it’s important to have yourself checked out by a doctor. Here are some common causes for post-sex spotting:
Cervical polyps or precancerous changes to cervical cells.
Both cause the cervix to become more sensitive, so if your partner’s penis comes in contact with your cervix during intercourse, it may aggravate the area and result in bleeding. The cervix changes its position in the body, which is why you may bleed on some occasions and not others.
A yeast or bacterial infection.
These infections can cause changes to vaginal tissues that result in bleeding.
A sexually transmitted disease.
An STD, such as gonorrhea or chlamydia, may behave like a vaginal infection and can cause bleeding.
Uterine polyps or fibroids.
Both are typically benign growths that occur inside the uterus and can bleed as a result of friction during intercourse.
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Think back to one of your first dates with your partner. You probably deliberated over your outfit as though you were going to the Academy Awards, trying on everything in your closet at least once. You spent a half-hour making sure your hair and makeup were done, but not too done, and made sure you were perfectly buffed and plucked from head to toe, even when sex was not yet in the cards. You did all of this because it made you feel beautiful, sexy, and — most importantly — irresistible.
What about now? Are sweatpants and a scrunchie your weekend uniform? Have you started to go longer and longer without shaving? Can you even remember the last time you dressed up when it was just the two of you? It’s one thing to be in a place of complete comfort with your partner and another to stop caring altogether. There’s a good chance your partner misses those days when your legs (and other parts) were smooth, soft, and sexy. He misses the effort you used to put into your appearance just because you knew the two of you would be together.
It’s really very simple — men are visual beings. Women tend to focus more on other relationship qualities like reliability, trust, and emotional intimacy. Men care about all these things too, but appearance still reigns supreme when it comes to lighting his fire. Whether it’s taking the time to put on a little lip gloss, doing your best to maintain a healthy weight, or dressing up just because, making a conscious choice to do something extra lets him know you still care about attracting his attention.
This weekend, why not surprise him? Dress to impress — and that doesn’t have to mean three-inch heels or an evening gown. Simply keep in mind that you can easily entice your guy’s sexual appetite with a visual treat every now and then. And you’ll be amazed at how great you feel knowing your partner is excited by the way you look.
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Are you ready to give a little boost to your body image? It’s essential to nurture a sense of appreciation and respect for your body on a daily basis, since the body is where it all begins for women. How you feel about your physical shape affects how you think about yourself in general — as you walk down the street, as you stand in the shower, and as you find romantic time with your partner.
Instead of putting all your energy into clothing, beauty treatments, and dieting, try some body love that has nothing to do with changing yourself physically. Simply connect to your body, with no judgment or goal-oriented thinking. And remember not to compare yourself with airbrushed models in magazines. Keep it in perspective: Marilyn Monroe was a size 14 and if Barbie was a real person, her proportions would cause her to walk on all fours!
Here are some ways to start boosting your body image:
Use your body in a way that reminds you of its wholeness and connectedness, such as swimming, yoga, or belly dancing.
Explore other ways to get in tune with your body. Try acupuncture, foot reflexology, or interpretive dancing.
Be generous with your compliments to others and you will begin to take a softer approach with yourself.
Look at family pictures through the generations to get a sense of where you came from and the legacy you help maintain.
Take care of yourself and you’ll realize that you are worth being taken care of. Make decisions that protect your health and well-being, whether it’s making that doctor’s appointment you’ve been putting off or standing up for yourself when someone tries to knock you down.
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Are you waiting for a soul mate? Dating with a mission to find true love? If so, you’re not alone. A survey by the Rutgers University Marriage Project found that 94 percent of 20- to 29-year-olds believe that finding a soul mate is the most important thing when it comes to marriage.
However, believing in the idea of soul mates does not necessarily mean that there is only one person for you.
In fact, everyone’s definition of a soul mate is different. Maybe yours was a boyfriend from the past who is still with you in spirit today or someone who gave your life meaning in a way that was lasting, even if the relationship was not.
Soul mates are people who change your life and the way you live it going forward. They fulfill a need for connection, which may be different at various times in your life. It’s also important to remember that soul mates are not limited to romantic relationships. They can be a friend or family member — anyone with whom you feel an unexplained connection or sense of completeness.
By waiting for a person who feels right — one you have a deep spiritual and sexual connection with — you give love the best chance of all. But it’s equally as important to celebrate all your relationships for what they’ve taught you and what they still have to teach you. Remember to enjoy the journey.
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Premature menopause is menopause that occurs before the age of 40. Though its symptoms are similar to menopause (irregular periods, hot flashes, sleep disturbances, and weight and skin changes), its psychological effects can be different and understandably devastating. Women often feel as if they have been cheated, or that they are somehow defective or even asexual.
Another difference between natural and premature menopause is that women may still ovulate intermittently. This means that women with premature menopause are capable of having children, usually with some assistance. They have a 10 percent chance of spontaneous pregnancy, even years after a diagnosis, and in vitro fertilization increases the odds to 50 percent.
It’s not always clear what causes premature menopause — genetic abnormalities and autoimmune disorders are two possibilities. Women who undergo chemotherapy, radiation, or surgical removal of their ovaries also experience premature menopause. If you’re concerned that you’re going through it, there is a hormone test available. Levels of the hormones estradiol and FSH, in particular, will register at post-menopausal levels if you are undergoing premature menopause. However, most women find that they are actually in perimenopause — the normal time leading up to menopause, during which hormone levels fluctuate and slowly decline over the course of several months or years.
If you are experiencing premature menopause, like natural menopause, it can be managed. It will challenge you to rise to the occasion, though, and take control of your health. Yoga, dietary changes, and exploring the risks and benefits of hormone therapy with your doctor will enable you to live a full and healthy life.
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If sex is leaving you with a case of the blahs, it’s time to get sensate. Sensate focus is a series of specific exercises for couples which encourages each partner to take turns paying increased attention to their own senses. The techniques involved in sensate focus can bring back those tingles and restore the novelty in your sex life, no matter how long you’ve been together. You will heighten your awareness of each other’s bodies by slowing down and discovering new kinds of touch.
To make the most of sensate focus, you should set aside at least an hour of time with no fear of interruption. Make your bedroom warm and relaxing. There should be no talking, since you’ll want to focus on enjoying the physical sensations you are feeling. Here’s what to do:
1. Explore touching and stroking each other’s bodies — but the breasts and genitals are off-limits. Explore your partner’s body for 20 minutes, then switch places.
2. Spend another 20 minutes each massaging each other, but this time include the breasts and genitals. The goal is not arousal — but no worries if it happens!
3. Now try touching and exploring each other’s bodies at the same time. Devote a full 20 minutes to this. Again, the focus is not on arousal, but on what feels good while touching and being touched.
4. If you feel inclined (and odds are you will!), move on to having intercourse with a continuing focus on the sensations and connections of the moment.
Try sensate focus whenever you feel that your sex life is becoming routine. It’ll put you back in touch with the most basic sensations, and give your sex life a much-needed jolt of excitement!
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Does your monthly visitor check in and decide to stick around for the rest of the month?
Premenstrual syndrome — known to almost all of us as PMS — affects 50 percent of women each month. The physical and emotional symptoms include breast tenderness, headaches, gastrointestinal distress, depression, and irritability. Sound familiar? These symptoms start in the first phase of the menstrual cycle as the body prepares for a monthly period. It can make you feel as if you’ve spent two miserable weeks leading up to your period, one week on your actual period, and just a few measly days with no menstrual symptoms at all. There’s got to be a better way!
The good news is that simple and easy-to-implement lifestyle changes can significantly reduce the days you spend in PMS-symptom agony each month. Light is a big one. Whether you make it a point to take a daily walk or swap out your regular light bulbs for full-spectrum ones, the increase in daily rays boosts serotonin levels in the brain, giving you a sunnier mental outlook.
As for the physical side of PMS, these solutions may not sound revolutionary, but simply getting regular exercise, eating a healthier diet, getting more sleep, and managing stress can do wonders for your spirit and lessen the physical toll on your body. Calcium — every woman’s must-have supplement — can also be a kind of kryptonite for PMS, so be sure to take yours regularly. The government recommends that women ages 19 to 50 take 1,000 mg of calcium a day and that women ages 50 to 70 consume 1,200 mg a day.
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